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Petting Etiquette: How to Safely Approach and Interact with Dogs

Petting a dog

When it comes to your faithful canine buddy, you likely know exactly what they like and don’t like as far as petting goes. Maybe your pup loves being scratched behind the ears, but can’t stand belly rubs. However, if you meet a new pup, you need to know how to approach a dog and where to pet them.

It’s important to realize that not every dog responds to touch the same way, and there are certain things most dogs simply don’t like. Even your own furry friend may not care for some types of affection, but they tolerate it because they adore you and trust you.

Knowing the best ways to approach a dog you don’t know makes it easier and safer to handle new canine encounters. A better understanding of petting preferences might even strengthen your relationship with your pooch.

The Best Way to Approach a Dog

Unfortunately, many people see a cute dog and automatically reach out to pat them on the head or ruffle their fur. This forward approach can make many dogs nervous and anxious, sometimes even leading to a growl or a bite.

Unlike humans, a dog can’t tell you if they would rather not be bothered at the moment. When you encounter a new pup, if their owner is present, the best thing you can do is ask for permission to pet.

If the person declines, respect their answer. Even if the dog seems friendly, pet parents know their fur babies. Their pup might become scared when strangers get too close and snap. Or, in some cases, the person may be training their dog on certain behavior issues and would prefer you to not interfere.

If the pet’s owner says you can pet their dog, use the following tips to do so safely.

1. Let the Dog Make the First Move

First, it’s essential to make sure the dog actually wants you to pet them. If their parent agreed to the interaction, then the dog is likely a people pup, but not always. Let the dog approach you to ensure they want to make friends.

Turn slightly sideways (front-facing can often come across as more aggressive or threatening to dogs who don’t know you). Keep an eye on the pup with your peripheral vision instead of making direct eye contact.

If they seem relaxed, crouch down so you aren’t towering above them. However, if they seem uneasy, remain standing so you don’t put your face closer to their bite range. Make a fist and keep it relaxed at your side so the dog can have a sniff. Don’t stick your hand out or make any sudden movements.

2. Know Where to Pet the Dog

Most dogs don’t like being petted on the head. It’s also best to not reach over their head to pet them, and avoid hugging them or holding on to them. Instead, pet the dog on their side or back. 

Ask their owner if the pup has a favorite spot they like to be petted. For example, perhaps they relish a gentle scratch on the back of their neck.

3. Remain Calm

Throughout the entire interaction, remain relaxed and speak in a calm voice. Use slow movements. Dogs often pick up on the emotions of people, so if you’re nervous or anxious, it could make the dog uneasy.

Furthermore, if you’re overly assertive, loud, or boisterous, it could scare the dog, or even put their owner on edge. Since dogs sense their owner’s stress, it’s possible if their parent is uncomfortable, it could lead the pup to react adversely.

4. Stay Aware

Read the situation and stay alert for signs of stress, restlessness, or uneasiness. If the dog doesn’t want you to pet them anymore, they’ll let you know.

Woman petting a dog

How Can You Tell If a Dog Wants You to Pet Them?

When interacting with a dog, it’s important to stay vigilant and aware of their reaction. Dogs communicate with body language, and you can read their movements and behavior to see if you should stop petting them or continue.

As you pet a pup, if their body movements are loose and relaxed, that’s a good sign that they’re enjoying your attention. The dog may lean into you, get closer, wag their tail in broad, free strokes, or give you a playful nudge with their paw or nose. They’ll have a generally happy expression that says they’re loving the moment.

Stop Petting a Dog If You Notice These Signs

Sometimes, as you start to pet a pup, they may change their mind. They may be fine with a few seconds of touch, then they’ve had enough. Stay alert and keep your eyes open for these signs that a dog wants you to stop petting them.

  • The dog leans away from you, looks away, backs up, or turns away from your hand.
  • You notice the dog licking their lips excessively or yawning. These are ways dogs use to self-soothe when they feel stressed.
  • The dog’s eyes are wide so you can see the whites of their eyes, also called whale-eye.
  • Tensing up, a rigid posture, or freezing in place are other signs that a dog is uneasy.
  • Growling, barking, and snapping are obvious signs that a dog wants you to keep your distance.

What If There’s Nobody With a Dog? Should You Pet Them?

If you see a dog that is off their leash in public, it’s always best to avoid approaching them until you have a better handle on the situation. Scan the immediate area to see if you can identify the dog’s owner. If not, the pup could be lost.

If the dog appears friendly and healthy, visually hunt for a collar with ID tags. Move slowly and calmly and see if you’re able to check the tags for a phone number. In some cases, you might be able to secure the dog and bring them to a nearby vet clinic that can scan for a microchip.

Offer a treat if you have one, but do not chase after the dog or yell for them to come. These more assertive actions can startle the pup, causing them to run away.

However, if the dog shows any signs of aggression, like growling, crouching, raised hackles, or baring teeth, avoid approaching them. It could be they’re frightened, or they may have rabies or pose other health risks. Call the local animal control office for assistance with reuniting the dog with its owners.

To Pet or Not to Pet? Know When and How to Approach a New Dog

Dogs are cute, and for dog lovers, they’re pretty much furry magnets on four legs. But petting a strange dog when they don’t want you to can be a bad move. Therefore, always be polite and ask the owner for permission. Let the pup make the first move, remain calm, and stay alert.

Use caution when approaching a dog who’s on their own, especially if they seem sick or show signs of aggression. When in doubt, call animal control for assistance. Making new friends is great, but not every dog wants to be sociable, and it’s important to respect that.


Check out the rest of the Neater Pets blog for more helpful tips on all things pet-related.

 

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